At GrowWeedEasy.com, we promote legal use of marijuana. We never recommend using any method to try to trick or somehow fake pass a drug test.
With that being said, many of you have written in asking about how to ensure that there’s no THC or other traces of marijuana in your urine.
This article was written by an anonymous guest, and may help answer your questions. We have not tested the accuracy of this information in any way.
The information in this article is for entertainment purposes only.
Here’s my process:
(Skip these first two paragraphs if you don’t care about the back story and just want the process) I live in Colorado and before our recent legalization out here, I was one (of the many) who had a “red-card” or license for MMJ. Around a year and a half ago I was arrested for DUI while reading a magazine in a hospital waiting room (true story bro).
Instead of fighting the case I took a plea and agreed to do random UA’s which test for alcohol. Good news for me is, I don’t drink. I don’t really care for the poisonous feeling and much prefer trees. At any rate, I come to find out that they not only also test for other substances (not much of a surprise) but they also do not acknowledge a medical license or prescription for MMJ because, “Marijuana consumption is still a federal crime and part of the terms of probation is to not violate ANY laws.”
Time to quit smoking right? Well after a week of abstaining and going through hell (see last paragraph), I got to investigating the standard probationary UA testing out here. It’s an “8 panel test” which test for 8 different substances, and here’s what I found out.
There are cutoff limits for each substance which are actually detected by “metabolites” that are excreted from the body. The cutoff for cannabis is 50 ng/ml. So as long as you have fewer than 50ng/ml in your body, you are going to pass.
The idea (which is not news) is to dilute your urine to get below that number, right? Well, the way they detect if you are trying to “flush” your system by diluting is to test for a naturally occurring byproduct of muscle breakdown called creatinine. If this level is low in your sample, your test is flagged as diluted. The key is to get the right balance.
Now, I don’t know if you even lift, bro, but unless you do and eat an excess of meat, your creatinine levels are going to be very low as mine were the first time I did this. I don’t lift, or even exercise really, and my meat intake is not anywhere above average. As my PO explained that it looked as though I had urinated nearly pure water, I actually got to see these creatinine levels which was very advantageous. I started researching how to raise this naturally occurring byproduct.
Turns out, if you take a steady daily supply of actual creatine (get monohydrate at any supplement store) it will naturally breakdown into creatinine and you will end up with an excess in your urine. Drink a lot of water and it will be low, but not below the red flag cutoff. The way you test your levels of creatinine is with a “Adulteration Strips” which are also found on Amazon and those strips are used in conjunction with these here THC kits to pass the test.
How he does it
Now the trick is getting just the right mix. You will need to do what’s called a “loading phase” on the creatine monohydrate.
Yes this is actually what bodybuilders do to enhance muscle mass. If you do not lift (wtf, bro) you will see absolutely no side effects from using this stuff although I have experienced mild stomach cramps right after dosing.
It will take 4 days to load and then you are on a maintenance dose of 5mg/day. On the morning of my test I will double the dose of the creatine and begin drinking water.
Not a lot, just start off with 2 pints or so and consciously drink a pint thereafter every hour. After about an hour and a half, your urine should start running clear Some say to drink gatorade or tea or cranberry juice, etc… To be honest, it really doesn’t matter.
Even if you’re drinking shitloads of Mt. Dew, all you are doing is voiding large amounts of liquid and very few amounts of detectable metabolites. I try to plan to take my test in the afternoon so I can to make sure I’ve been “flushing” for a good 4 hours, again, drinking about a pint of liquid every hour and voiding as often as possible.
Next I take (2) super B-complex vitamins no later than 2 hours before I drop and use one of these THC strips and one of the adulteration strips to check the creatinine levels (must be above 30). If the creatinine is too low I back off the liquids a bit, and eat a heavy/meaty meal.
By this time my urine has been running clear for around 2 hours and I’m testing below the cutoff. I continue drinking liquids on the hour for the next 2 hours before my test. And check both levels one more time before going in to drop.
It is true what they say about getting the middle of the stream if you’re really worried about it, but in my experience, you’re so well hydrated at this point that it doesn’t really matter which portion of the piss you give them.
The B-vitamins make it look nice and yellow and give it the “specific gravity” they are looking for (must have, or it will be flagged), the creatinine is now at acceptable levels and your kidneys are washed clean of the cannabinoid metabolites.
I’ve passed the test 12 times while smoking everyday for the past 4 months.
Note: A reader mentioned using synthetic urine. Absolutely the way to go. 100% pass every time.
The problem is that unlike a job screen, on probation they physically watch the urine leave your body and enter the cup so it’s just not an option. In fact I think I saw something recently about a celebrity that got busted trying to use the fake penis method.
It may be important to know that I am 5’10/180 lbs and have been told I have about 18% body fat.
As you know THC is (inconveniently) stored in your fat so a larger person will likely have different results. It is also important to note that I ONLY VAPE.
I have a strong suspicion that this may very well cut down on the amount of detectable metabolites in my system in that there is less of the plant entering my body.
Lastly one user asked “why are you still smoking?”
To be honest, I had my red-card for a reason. Namely lower back pain. While most of the people with cards have them for totally bogus reasons, I actually have a legitimate need for this stuff.
Without getting into how opiates damn near ruined my life, I will say that this plant has given me tremendous amounts of relief.
Not just from pain, but the restlessness and anxiety that comes along with all of it. It’s a big fucking mess and this herb has saved me from so much torment.
To have that taken away from me was fucking devastating. What’s worse is that even though it’s now legal here I STILL can’t use it because it’s still a federal crime.
The only way I will be able to use it is if the congress allows states to control their own marijuana laws. I’m certain that will happen eventually, but until then I’ll be buying these strips and staying well hydrated.